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crxtasy169
04-12-2011, 01:28 PM
This Sunday my girlfriend of four years told me she has terminal cancer. Out of respect for her and what we have left can I please get an admin to delete the most recent photos I posted of her in the Buell porn thread I am sorry fellas I enjoyed sharing the photos with you as did she but I don't need a common reminder of what I am about to loose and have lost. Thank you for being such a great community, I probably won't be on here for a while due to the fact that I need to be there for her and also some time for myself. Please pray for us both! Thanks crxtasy169.

Drkside79
04-12-2011, 01:40 PM
Dear God I'm so sorry. This is tragic she looked so young and happy. I am soooooo sorry

50dro
04-12-2011, 01:49 PM
Wow man! That's really sad! Prayers coming your way...Enjoy every minute with her that you can.

Loki
04-12-2011, 01:51 PM
I pray she makes it out of this! Be strong for her! God bless

Drkside79
04-12-2011, 01:54 PM
Agreed never give up hope and cherish every minute. Doctors have been wrong before and attitude can help a ton!

My thoughts and prayers for you and her.

Andy

WALLSXB
04-12-2011, 01:58 PM
So , so sorry to hear this ! Thoughts and prayers to you and her . Make every moment a special one and be strong .

xtremelow
04-12-2011, 02:06 PM
Sorry to hear for sure. Edit done.

upthemaiden
04-12-2011, 02:23 PM
Seriously awful new man, best of hope to both of you!

netty2424
04-12-2011, 04:15 PM
This is a fight you can't give up on! You haven't lost her yet!

I've lost family to cancer, but I've also had family beat it! Keep up the fight brotha!

flaya564
04-12-2011, 04:36 PM
Sorry to hear, you both are in my thoughts. You might want to remove the pictures from your "my pics" section as well.

Livers
04-12-2011, 04:43 PM
Wow. Yep, prayers going your way.

2004xb12s
04-12-2011, 04:49 PM
My prayers are with the both of you.

crxtasy169
04-12-2011, 08:04 PM
This is her third go around with cancer the last two times it was breast cancer and brain tumors. We thought she had it beat. She just has no will to go through this again. The chemo is just unresponsive and now it has spread to the rest of the body. She really doesn't want me here and already tried to push me out and make me leave. I feel lost as if I am helpless and nothing I do could help her fight and save her. I always thought I myself and her daughter were enough to fight for till the end. Sometimes people just can't take anymore. I think this is where she is at. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and support. I keep fighting and hanging in there but it is taking the biggest part of me I have ever lost to anyone. It hurts me more to know she is pushing me out, instead of making the best of it till the end. She is trying to protect me and it is honorable, but I would much rather make the best of it till the end. But what can one say it is her choice and I must respect that. Love the ones your with because it could be gone in the blink of an eye.
Don't seat the small things. Tell the ones you love that you love them because you may never get a chance to do it again. May peace come to all of you. Thank you. Yes she is young only 27.

buellbee
04-12-2011, 08:41 PM
Stay strong and be there for her.

crxtasy169
04-14-2011, 07:10 PM
Well my friends I just need to rant a bit and get some things out. My girl has been trying to push me out every since this boggle started. Last night I finally took the plunge and asked her to marry me. I had a trail of roses from the front door to the living room lit by candles leading the way, around the corner I was on a pillow on the right knee holding the ring. She freaked out and pushed me away. She started shaking and asked why know. I told her that I hoped the love I had for her was enough to pick her up off of her knees and fight. I guess it's not enough. I can honestly say though that I have no regrets it has been a wonderful four years, but know I must leave. I have given it my all even if it is too late. I am crushed more than anyone could know, but now it is time to pick myself up and move on. I fear the worst that she will be alone when the time come, but it is not my choice. May piece be with her and may she find comfort in the end! I pray she is not alone when the time comes. If you love someone tell them every day. Take your chances in life. What's the worst thong that could happen, rejection? Don't waste time you never know how much you have, or how much your loved ones have. If you get hurt or sick there are people who love you fight hard the rewards are not only yours as they are for others too. Live life and don't say things you may regret. They may haunt you for the rest of your life. Be well.

onelogue
04-14-2011, 07:24 PM
THe best thing we can give you is our prayers. I strongly believe in miracles. Hang in there fellow Bueller!

2004xb12s
04-14-2011, 09:01 PM
I hope it all works out. I can't say that I even know what the best outcome would be in that situation. I am just glad that you have no regrets and are doing your best to get by. Times get tough and it seems like you are handling it better than most would. Like I have said earlier my prayers are with you and like onelogue said miracles can happen.

Paloma1974
04-14-2011, 09:29 PM
I cant imagine any words right now. All I can say is that you dont completely get out of her life. Maybe just some space but be accessible. I will always regret that I was not there the night my dad passed away after fighting cancer for over a year. I hope you can keep some communication.

buellbee
04-14-2011, 09:43 PM
I agree with Paloma and with my earlier statement, be strong and at the very least be there for her. Her emotions are far worse than yours are right now, and she thinks that pushing everyone away will make things better. It does not.

I'll be completely honest, my biggest fear in life is dying alone. Not having anyone there with me literally tears me up inside. I wouldn't be surprised that when the time is close for her, she will feel the same way.

You will also a deep feeling of regret and personal sorrow as well if you do not help her as well. I cannot count the times I wish I could have been there for the 5 soldiers in my unit who have passed in the past 2 years, and I regret simple things like not calling them. To an extent, it haunts you.

I know I'm being a little dramatic but I strongly recommend sticking with her the best you possibly can. It will be better for the both of you.

okey
04-15-2011, 05:12 AM
I am honestly saddened to hear of this and i can't imagine what you are going through.I cannot offer advice but i believe that the best way to help these tragic events in life are to be there for one another. Be there for the family to listen and comfort one another.

I had the unfortunate circumstance to tell my girlfriend, now wife that her mother was killed in a car accident. It occured on my 18th birthday and well it has made us all dig deep to be strong for one another.

I aggree with what you are saying about telling the ones you love this very thing every day because in a instant your whole life plan can change.May god bless you all.

agfish18
04-15-2011, 06:43 AM
Keep up the fight man... in order to support her in the fight, you need to fight too. dont just give up trying with her because she pushes you away... push back.

My prayers are with you.

flaya564
04-15-2011, 07:15 AM
Don't let her push you away, it's just going to hurt more, for both of you later. Let her know how happy she makes you and how happy you want to keep her during this tough time. It's nice of her to think she is saving you from the worst but knowing she's doing it alone makes it that much more painful. Don't give up, surprise her everyday, from a note on her pillow to a trip she's always wanted to take (depending of finances of course). She may fight you now again but if this is what you really want, don't stop trying.

crxtasy169
04-15-2011, 07:15 PM
Thank you all for being supportive this is a great forum. I don't even know what to do anymore it seems as if all of my efforts are useless. I keep trying to let her see the good things in life but she is just so stubborn. I can't make her fight she won't even go to the doctors anymore. She literally is just giving up and dieing. It sucks seeing something so wonderful and beautiful just wither away and die without even trying. I feel helpless and useless at the same time. I feel like the last four years were all in vein. I feel like if she really loved me and her daughter she would fight.I keep trying to remind myself of all of the great memories and times we had and this right now feels like it is the only thing keeping me going. I want so much to be by her side whether she makes it or not, but honestly nothing I do is making a difference or will change her mind.
I know there will come a day when she will ask me to be by her side and the sad part is that I will drop everything in my life for her at the time and come running home, my job, my family,friends, work just because she is the love of my life! Thank all you guys for the kind words and anyone who has been there any advice is appreciated.

buellbee
04-15-2011, 07:31 PM
Don't beat yourself up over it. The last four years will probably be the best of her life when she looks back on everything. I promise you, just be persistant. Just listen to her, talk to each other, and spend time together. Don't dwell on the cancer, don't even bring it up in conversation.

Live for the moment together and enjoy every second of it.

Stevenc150
04-16-2011, 10:31 PM
Prayers going up. Very sorry to hear. Like buellbee said, be persistent. Whether she admits it or not, it's what she wants.