Cooter sells a bike

[Cooter]

Lord help me from murdering my fellow humans today... Ignore this rant but I MUST let it out or you'll be reading about me on the news, and I don't mean NPR.
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"Free things always cost you the most"
Cooter

I got realistic about my garage problem and posted a few things for sale. One of which is a complete piece of ****, old, beat up, not-registered-for-a-decade, ex-wanna-be racer GSXR-750. From 1989. You remember 1989? I'm old now and had JUST graduated HS for Christ sakes, and this thing has been passed around the prison yard since I was spotting beers at the 7-11. Why not spray paint the whole engine silver from 5 feet away? Day-Glo flames? Mis-spelled "Susuki" in ****ty Mandarin? I can't even...

I mean at least $100 in zip ties have died on this bike. Weld the subframe to the frame? Of course! The "why" doesn't matter. I mean there isn't ONE thing thats nice on this turd and it should be put out of its sorry misery in trash compactor 3263827 on the detention level of the Death Star.
But it runs... ****.

The short backstory of this space hogging dream killer is that with all my then-youthful ignorance, I got it from a friend of a friend for the princely sum of zilch, zero, nada. And it was worth less than that. Years after that day, the only action this thing has seen is when another good friend brought over his Katana with a death rattle rod knock and the only decent way home was to quickly dash some fuel and a battery this dusty pile from the corner to get him home that night. I gave him the pink slip to avoid any law enforcement issues his third-strike ass may have with expired plates and the strict instructions I didn't want to see it again.
Fast forward another half decade and he wants it out of his garage, where it has sat. since the day he left my shop.

Sigh.

Air up the cobwebbed tires, slosh some fresh fuel to mix with the varnish, and wouldn't ya know it? That ****er still idles and runs perfectly. Don't you DARE give me hope you sonofabitch! Well age and 'maturity' prevails as I make the right choice to be free of this succumbent for good. Open Craigslist, post ad:

"Hey Vanilla Ice, come get your bike.

I've had it for awhile, but I'm a mechanic (a good one) so I just checked it out and it didn't take much to get it running. It's beat to **** with a salvage title but brakes and suspension seem to work well. It's got a Fox racing shock in the rear for track day bragging rights too.
I drained the tank, oil, and carbs, to store it but have had second thoughts. I have a video of it running but bring gas, oil, and a battery if you want to hear it in person, otherwise get this crap out of my garage for cheap.
It needs to be towed and needs a bunch of work to be road warrior ready. You aren't riding it home but I can deliver for a fair fee. The pics don't do it justice, it is MUCH more ****ty to behold in person. Bring sunglasses, and a satchel to collect the panties.
I don’t care if you need it for parts or want to try and get it on the road, but if you shave 80’s stripes in your hair I’ll give you $100 off. Seriously "

No **** I got 13 responses within a half hour. Thirteen! I explained the situation and still had to add:
"EDIT:
I’m getting a TON of interest and if the ad isn’t clear enough... this bike is complete, does run, and is beat to ****.
I would NOT try to ride it without a bunch of work! Reg is many many years old and you aren’t gonna fill it with gas and start trackdays or get to work dependably. It need a LOT of love to be safe and dependable and frankly should just be used for parts. I know it’s cheap. I know it’s sexy. There’s no better definition than Caveat Emptor."